If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
