I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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