I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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