my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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