Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
sex in a hospital.. check
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
