Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
