What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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