Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
