Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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