$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
