You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You pole danced in your parka.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
