For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
