It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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