he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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