Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
