I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
