someone owes me an orgasm
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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