I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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