I cut my penus on the lid.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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