Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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