we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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