I love black thongs
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
