oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
is it fun? or sober?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
