Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
