i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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