How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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