my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize