i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize