dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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