The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
