God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
