I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
