I need help removing her.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
