Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
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