Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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