Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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