Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize