Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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