You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
