i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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