Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize