I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
