Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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