She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
