I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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