your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize