Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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