Having a random hookup so left but love u
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize