How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My pussy is not your playground.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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