I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
