You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
