I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
