I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
