Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
