I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize