I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
