Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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