I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
