Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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