if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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