dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
