Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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