you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
