walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
