I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
